Oscar Wilde was a popular playwright in London in the 1890s, and his unapologetically flamboyant personality and razor-sharp wit have ensured his enduring legacy. His first hit play, “Lady Windermere’s Fan,” is an upper-class comedy that tells the story of a wife who suspects her husband of having an affair. The play made Wilde rich and also gave us some of his most famous lines, including the quote above, spoken by the minor character Mr. Dumby. When Lord Darlington reveals his unrequited love for Lady Windermere, Dumby congratulates him, arguing there are only two tragedies in the world: “One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. The last is much the worst, the last is a real tragedy!” In other words, striving for a goal and failing can be difficult, but it can ultimately prove to be a more valuable experience, as the journey of pursuing a much-desired objective can sometimes be more fulfilling and transformative than the end result.

Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” was first published in 1989 and has sold more than 40 million copies worldwide. This quote is found near the end of the book in a section where Covey ruminates on change. Self-growth, he suggests, comes from addressing “the fundamental, essential paradigms which give definition to our character and create the lens through which we see the world.” We cannot change our lives in any meaningful way without first looking deeply within ourselves.