James Clear’s trajectory toward becoming a behavioral science expert began in high school, when he spent many months recovering from a life-threatening sports injury. Slowing down caused him to study others’ actions and take inventory of his own thought patterns. The author of the bestselling “Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones” noticed the shared tendency to downplay praise and amplify criticism. In September 2021, Clear shared this insight in his email newsletter: “It’s crazy how 1,000 people can compliment you and you’ll spend all day thinking about the one person who criticized you.” He encourages us to instead take time to appreciate each bit of recognition, a practice that promotes active listening and a healthy sense of self-worth.

J.M. Barrie was a prolific novelist and playwright, best known for creating the iconic character of Peter Pan. Pan first appeared in Barrie’s 1902 novel “The Little White Bird,” wherein Barrie posed the question, “Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?” The original Peter, however, was very different from the free-spirited, cocksure, and eternally young boy we know and love today. Originally, Peter was a 7-day-old flying baby — and therefore quite incapable of sword fighting with hook-handed pirates. Barrie later made Pan the central character in his stage play “Peter Pan, or The Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up,” which premiered in 1904. The play was a success and was later adapted into the 1911 novel “Peter and Wendy,” in which Barrie further expanded on Peter’s adventures in Neverland with its mermaids, fairies, and pirates. 

Speaker and author Byron Katie regularly encourages us to look inside and ask ourselves the hard questions. She refers to it as “The Work,” a process that helps us to confront stressful thoughts and feelings and eliminate them from our lives. With anger, in particular, whether it’s directed at ourselves or someone else, we’re held captive by those negative emotions. Until we forgive whatever caused the hurt, we’ll never be free from that negativity. So forgiveness actually becomes a form of self-care, allowing us to move forward unencumbered, to enjoy the freedom and lightness that comes from letting go.

This quote from Brené Brown’s book “The Gifts of Imperfection” encourages us to examine our relationship with giving and receiving, and to strive for greater openness, compassion, and generosity in both aspects. Brown believes deeply in the importance of genuine connection, and teaches that for true connection to occur, energy must travel in both directions between people. If we have barriers or blocks to receiving — maybe due to fear of vulnerability, or a desire to maintain control — then our ability to give authentically and generously may also be limited. This quote invites us to consider how our capacity to give is intimately connected to our willingness to receive.