Cooking can be a beautiful thing. More than just a source of nourishment, it can also relieve stress, enhance mindfulness, and improve self-esteem. But not everyone is a Food Network-level chef. Let’s put it this way — if faced with Gordon Ramsay, many of us would find ourselves on the receiving end of one of his famous zingers.
It’s easy enough to make a number of simple errors in the kitchen that can result in disaster: mistaking salt for sugar, getting distracted with the broiler on, or attempting an overly ambitious recipe that ends up looking like a classic Pinterest fail.
Cooking can also feel intimidating, and weeknight dinners may resemble something a toddler would eat for lunch more often than not. But that doesn’t mean we can’t see the humor in it, nor does it mean we should abandon our culinary endeavors altogether. These funny quotes about cooking will add a pinch of laughter to your next kitchen creation — even if it’s just a bag of microwaved popcorn.
I cook with wine, and sometimes I even add it to the food.
I no longer prepare food or drink with more than one ingredient.
I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.
Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
Always remember: If you’re alone in the kitchen and you drop the lamb, you can always just pick it up. Who’s going to know?
My doctor told me I had to stop throwing intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.
Anyone who tries to make brownies without butter should be arrested.
I’ll give you an idea of how bad my cooking is. Last Christmas the family chipped in together and bought me an oven that flushes.
I know I’m a lousy cook, but I never realized how bad until the other night when I caught the dog calling Chicken Delight.
If an architect makes a mistake, he grows ivy to cover it … If a cook makes a mistake, he covers it with some sauce and says it is a new recipe.
I don’t even butter my bread. I consider that cooking.
Featured Image Credit: Coprid/ iStock
Nicole Villeneuve
Nicole is a writer, thrift store lover, and group-chat meme spammer based in Ontario, Canada.
