The social media platform formerly known as Twitter (now called “X”) became one of the most popular websites and dominant forms of social media in the world after its launch in 2006, serving as a one-stop shop to check in on friends, family, celebrities, and politicians alike. Hundreds of millions of people have used the microblogging site as a platform for their amusing thoughts and hilarious observations.
Twitter/X is rife with jokes that deal directly with universal situations and can quickly go viral, like comedian Andy Milonakis’ wildly popular tweet in May 2020 during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic: “Congratulations to the Astronauts that left Earth today. Good choice.”
A funny tweet can go from unread to “trending” within a matter of minutes — whether its author is cracking a joke during a major event such as the Super Bowl or sharing a hilarious thought about their everyday life. Here are 19 funny tweets to get your day rolling.
accidentally said “you too” when the waiter told me to enjoy my meal so he sat down with me and we had a very pleasant evening
The last layer of skin on the roof of my mouth finally grew back from that Hot Pocket I ate in 2009.
reverse psychology? that’ll never work
we did it. we made it through the 300 days of january. congratulations everyone
What if the brown ones are just clear M&M’s
Airlines trust I can operate an emergency door and usher hundreds of passengers to safety but think I need step by step instructions on buckling a seatbelt.
If anyone needs some loose IKEA parts, let me know. Also, if you’re ever at my apartment, I’d avoid sitting on or touching any of my furniture.
People are like, “I thought about what you said…” and my first thought is always, “Oh no.”
changed clouds to coulds and now the sky is full of possibilities
Sometimes it’s hard to tell if I’m hungry or bored.
When I get dressed in the morning I ask myself one question…do I mind spilling food on this?
Heavy is the head of the parent who tries to watch a movie
I only say stupid things when I talk.
My dream job is a 7-11 hot dog just rolling there endlessly in a zen state of warmth
I like that they snuck the word “strum” right in the middle of “instrument”
Don’t go in the woods alone. Always bring a slower friend.
When I’m eating shared nachos I’m always thinking 3 nacho moves ahead of my opponent.
When parallel parking, I turn down the radio so I can hear the sound of my car crunching the other car’s bumper.
Just once I wish the McDonald’s drive-thru would say “I love you too.”
Featured Image Credit: Leslie Low/ Unsplash
Sean Neumann
Sean Neumann is a writer and reporter based in Chicago, Illinois.
