Article image

The Best Jokes and Quotes From Steve Martin

Innovative comic, actor, and author Steve Martin has delighted audiences and influenced comedians for decades. Known originally for his surreal stand-up comedy, he stood apart from other performers by relying less on setups and punchlines and instead showcasing his “wild and crazy” style and imaginative writing — always with a healthy dose of silliness that endeared him to fans.

After getting his start in standup, Martin went on to star in beloved films including 1979’s The Jerk, 1986’s Three Amigos, and 1991’s Father of the Bride. Along with his 57-year career as a performer, Martin has achieved success as a writer, penning plays, New Yorker pieces, and books, such as his acclaimed memoir Born Standing Up.

His unique blend of slapstick comedy and prolific humor writing has made him a national treasure, honored with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor and an array of other accolades, including five Grammy Awards, a Primetime Emmy Award, and the AFI Life Achievement Award.

The 77-year-old has continued to cement his legacy as co-creator of the 2021 comedy mystery series Only Murders in the Building, which he co-stars with Selena Gomez and his frequent collaborator and fellow legend Martin Short. In celebration of the comedy icon, these are some of Steve Martin’s wittiest and most incisive quotes.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Share Quote

Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

Share Quote

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Share Quote

It is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.

Share Quote

Some people have a way with words, and other people … oh, uh, not have way.

Share Quote

Thankfully, perseverance is a great substitute for talent.

Share Quote

Be so good they can't ignore you.

Share Quote

I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.

Share Quote

It's pain that changes our lives.

Share Quote

Those French! They have a different word for everything.

Share Quote

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

Share Quote

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.

Share Quote

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

Share Quote

Featured image credit: Aaron Rapoport/ Corbis Historical via Getty Images

Author image
About the Author
Ryan Mazer
Ryan Mazer is a video producer and comedy writer living in New York City.
Play more header background
Play more icon
Daily Question
Fill in the blank: "Everything I’ve ever done that’s valuable is something I was ___ to try." - Amy Chua

More Inspiration

happiness theme icon

Endure, and keep yourselves for days of happiness.

separator icon
Virgil
motivation theme icon

I felt it shelter to speak to you.

separator icon
Emily Dickinson
hope theme icon

You make your life meaningful by applying meaning to it.

separator icon
Sheila Heti
love theme icon

April, dressed in all his trim, hath put a spirit of youth in everything.

separator icon
William Shakespeare
wisdom theme icon

Live for each second without hesitation.

separator icon
Elton John
happiness theme icon

Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.

separator icon
Lucy Maud Montgomery
motivation theme icon

Enthusiasm is the great hill-climber.

separator icon
Elbert Hubbard
hope theme icon

My only advice is to stay aware, listen carefully, and yell for help if you need it.

separator icon
Judy Blume
love theme icon

The excursion is the same when you go looking for your sorrow as when you go looking for your joy.

separator icon
Eudora Welty
wisdom theme icon

Failure is a greater teacher than success. Listen, learn, go on.

separator icon
Clarissa Pinkola Estés
happiness theme icon

Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.

separator icon
William Shakespeare