Article image

The Best Jokes and Quotes From Steve Martin

Innovative comic, actor, and author Steve Martin has delighted audiences and influenced comedians for decades. Known originally for his surreal stand-up comedy, he stood apart from other performers by relying less on setups and punchlines and instead showcasing his “wild and crazy” style and imaginative writing — always with a healthy dose of silliness that endeared him to fans.

After getting his start in standup, Martin went on to star in beloved films including 1979’s The Jerk, 1986’s Three Amigos, and 1991’s Father of the Bride. Along with his 57-year career as a performer, Martin has achieved success as a writer, penning plays, New Yorker pieces, and books, such as his acclaimed memoir Born Standing Up.

His unique blend of slapstick comedy and prolific humor writing has made him a national treasure, honored with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor and an array of other accolades, including five Grammy Awards, a Primetime Emmy Award, and the AFI Life Achievement Award.

The 77-year-old has continued to cement his legacy as co-creator of the 2021 comedy mystery series Only Murders in the Building, which he co-stars with Selena Gomez and his frequent collaborator and fellow legend Martin Short. In celebration of the comedy icon, these are some of Steve Martin’s wittiest and most incisive quotes.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Share Quote

Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

Share Quote

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Share Quote

It is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.

Share Quote

Some people have a way with words, and other people … oh, uh, not have way.

Share Quote

Thankfully, perseverance is a great substitute for talent.

Share Quote

Be so good they can't ignore you.

Share Quote

I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.

Share Quote

It's pain that changes our lives.

Share Quote

Those French! They have a different word for everything.

Share Quote

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

Share Quote

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.

Share Quote

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

Share Quote

Featured image credit: Aaron Rapoport/ Corbis Historical via Getty Images

Author image
About the Author
Ryan Mazer
Ryan Mazer is a video producer and comedy writer living in New York City.
Play more header background
Play more icon
Daily Question
Fill in the blank: "There is only one proof of ___ — action." - Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

More Inspiration

happiness theme icon

Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say.

separator icon
Barbara Kingsolver
motivation theme icon

There will always be someone who can't see your worth. Don't let it be you.

separator icon
Mel Robbins
hope theme icon

I learned that you have to push away the demand of people's expectations by believing in your instincts.

separator icon
Stefano Pilati
love theme icon

Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.

separator icon
Taylor Swift
wisdom theme icon

There is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.

separator icon
Virginia Woolf
happiness theme icon

Everything that truly makes us happy is quite simple: love, sex, and food!

separator icon
Meryl Streep
motivation theme icon

There is nothing stronger than a broken woman who has rebuilt herself.

separator icon
Hannah Gadsby
hope theme icon

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.

separator icon
Alan Watts
love theme icon

Enthusiasm is the great hill-climber.

separator icon
Elbert Hubbard
wisdom theme icon

Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.

separator icon
Pope John Paul II
happiness theme icon

I found my place when I stopped looking for it.

separator icon
Mahershala Ali