Article image

19 Funny Quotes With an Unexpected Twist

You may not be familiar with the word "paraprosdokian," but you've almost certainly heard one. The Macmillan Dictionary defines a paraprosdokian as “a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or re-interpret the first part.” It’s a strange word, but in Greek — from which it derives — it makes perfect sense: It comes from “παρά,” meaning “against” or “despite,” and “προσδοκία,” meaning “expectation.”

One of the oldest, oft-cited paraprosdokians comes from the Greek philosopher Aristotle, who wrote, “On his feet he wore… blisters.” “Blisters,” here, is the subversion of our expectations, as we’d normally expect someone to be wearing shoes, or sandals, on their feet.

The Aristotle example isn’t a side-splitter by any means, but paraprosdokians are frequently used for their comic effect by comedians and satirists. Politicians have also used paraprosdokians when looking for a laugh, whether poking fun at themselves or at others. Here are some classic examples of funny paraprosdokians, from Abraham Lincoln to Homer Simpson.

If I were two-faced, would I be showing you this one?
Abraham Lincoln

Share Quote

Everybody laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they're not laughing now.
Bob Monkhouse

Share Quote

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
Often attributed to Groucho Marx, but was in use before he made the remark

Share Quote

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain

Share Quote

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
Winston Churchill

Share Quote

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
Attributed to Groucho Marx

Share Quote

He’s a writer for the ages — the ages of four to eight.
Dorothy Parker

Share Quote

Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!
President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) in "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"

Share Quote

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
Often misattributed to Winnie the Pooh, despite being in circulation in various forms since at least 1906

Share Quote

I backed a horse today, twenty-to-one. It came in at twenty past four.
Tommy Cooper

Share Quote

I also remember something that Thomas Jefferson once said. He said, “We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.” And ever since he told me that, I’ve stopped worrying.
Ronald Reagan

Share Quote

The day after New Hampshire, I went home and slept like a baby. Every two hours I woke up and cried.
Bob Dole

Share Quote

People say I’m indecisive, but I don’t know about that.
George H.W. Bush

Share Quote

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Rodney Dangerfield

Share Quote

I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
Mitch Hedberg

Share Quote

Behind every great man... is a woman rolling her eyes.
Bruce Nolan (Jim Carey) in "Bruce Almighty"

Share Quote

If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it's possible I may be too awesome.
Barack Obama

Share Quote

She thinks I’m too critical. That’s another fault of hers.
Lucille Bluth (Jessica Walter) in "Arrested Development"

Share Quote

If I could just say a few words… I'd be a better public speaker.
Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) in "The Simpsons"

Share Quote

Featured image credit: Dave Hoefler/ Unsplash

Author image
About the Author
Tony Dunnell
Tony is an English writer of non-fiction and fiction living on the edge of the Amazon jungle.
Play more header background
Play more icon
Daily Question
Fill in the blank: "Until we can ___ with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart." - Brené Brown

More Inspiration

happiness theme icon

Everything that truly makes us happy is quite simple: love, sex, and food!

separator icon
Meryl Streep
motivation theme icon

Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.

separator icon
Pope John Paul II
hope theme icon

Some things are best mended by a break.

separator icon
Edith Wharton
love theme icon

When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in.

separator icon
Haruki Murakami
wisdom theme icon

Run to the rescue with love and peace will follow.

separator icon
River Phoenix
happiness theme icon

I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention… To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone.

separator icon
Henry Rollins
motivation theme icon

I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.

separator icon
Anne Frank
hope theme icon

You can't learn style. Style, I think, is in your DNA.

separator icon
Iris Apfel
love theme icon

What you think about day and night forms your character and personality.

separator icon
Masami Saionji
wisdom theme icon

What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.

separator icon
Jane Goodall
happiness theme icon

You mustn't confuse a single failure with a final defeat.

separator icon
F. Scott Fitzgerald